Letter 11 of 23: Amper

 Good morning 2023,

I hope you’re well. It’s an okay morning this side. You’re just choosing to be unkind on the weather side of things, ma’am. 

I almost said make up your mind and then I remembered it’s not such an easy thing to do. You can be here, there and nowhere every second until your mind is made up. Then one small thing comes up and then you start all over again. So I won’t judge your indecisiveness homegirl. Today I come in peace. Oh and when I say peace, I only mean towards you. I’ve got a bone to pick with myself today. 

Fam, you know when someone comes over and they say they have tea? How do you tell that the tea is hot before you’ve had it all? I have a few tells. Firstly, they need to tell me that I won’t believe it. Then my response should be something urging them to spill. Then, they need to give me at least one dramatic detail of it all before completion. This is where I then ask them to start at the beninging. Yes, the beninging because the beginning is just too linear and lukewarm in these cases. The exclamations during it all are compulsory. What’s tea without heyi, yho, you lie and noooo way! Want to know what would act as condensed milk in these scenarios? That snapping fingers motion once in a while just for emphasis! 😂

So the tea that I have on myself is: Fam, you will not believe this but, Linda almost fainted. Yeep, believe me. I’m telling you. Homegirl almost dropped flat (snapping fingers !). You know that thing she does of forgetting that she’s an introvert in extrovert skin? Heyi, I’m telling you she did it again this year. Was her visa application approved by the board? Nope. It was on pending and she still decided to present at an international conference. Will this girl ever learn?! Shaking my head! Was the ending messy? Amper (snapping fingers)! You know that Cece Winans song titled Mercy said no? Homegirl made me witness it. Live! 

2023, the rivalry between introvert me and extrovert me continued on your timeline! Very hectic beef this one. I don’t see it ending anytime soon. I can safely say that I will probably have way more “Amper” incidents in future 😂