Letter 5 - Sigh

 Hello 2021,

I care very little about how you are doing this morning.

Ever noticed those moments when hymns hit so hard that you end up being numb? I say moments because it isn't everyday that we become numb. A lot happens in a church setting when music is concerned. Sometimes it's the beat that draws you in. Sometimes it's the lead singer's command of the tune that catches your attention. Sometimes it's someone rescuing you from a sermon that could have gone on for longer. Sometimes it's like you're hearing those lyrics for the very first time...

If I were to attach a song to my moments of numbness on your timeline Lekunutung le Morena would be befitting. Not the part about how nice it is to be in the presence of God. No. The part about how I'd tell Him what's bothering me about the world. Okay I wouldn't talk much. My head would spin so much. Then I'd go numb...

We live in a world which normalises violence towards those who we deem weaker or different from us. We live in a world where debates about how to be politically correct when having these conversations is more important than collective solutions. We live in a world where lives matter most once they've been lost. We live in a world where people choose to suffocate in silence instead of speaking out. Just in case their pain is silenced or even erased.

I don't need to go any further. Do I? We all know what I'm talking about. Those "numbers" are the people we love. We are numb because we couldn't protect them. We are numb because we know we're likely going to be next. We are numb because we've talked so much...

2021, I've sat with the pain of this reality on timelines before you. I've sat with the pain of this reality on your timeline. My heavy heart knows I'll sit with the pain of this reality on timelines long after you're gone.

Sigh...