Dear 2020,
How do you do?
It's almost time. Isn't it? I'm dedicating the last three days of the epistolary to the themes I've picked this year: No. Breathe. Psalm 115. After a very long eenie meenie miney mo I've decided I'll begin with the scripture anchor.
Iyhooo! What a challenge! I honestly don't know what I was thinking. Guys, remember how I was acting as if themes are better than resolutions? Did you show me flames 2020!
My scripture anchor was really challenging. On all fronts. A part of me wishes that I hadn't picked it. Another feels like maybe it was time. Then there's the other that just feels indifferent. Psalm 115 may have been so simple back in 2002. In 2020 it has come with so many complexities. I understand why younger me picked the verse. My current self, on the other hand, didn't resonate much. At least not most of the time.
At some point in the year, Psalm 115 made me think about the toxicity of Christianity as a whole. How the bible was used, and continues to be used, to oppress people. How blacks were racially excluded because of God's "will". How "forgive and forget" is very selective and somehow forgets verse 16. Just how we tend to forget the values and follow individuals instead of the personal relationship with God. Sigh.
I don't want to be the kind of Christian who looks down on other beliefs. I might have believed in single truths at some point in my life. Not anymore. So the concept of "one true God" unsettles me. This space isn't political. So I'll just leave this at that.
There were times when I found myself questioning the will of God this year. There were times when I truly trusted God and He came through. That I'm still here is one of the greatest blessings of 2020.
I'm thankful for Psalm 115. More than anything, I'm thankful that even my bad days were a testament that God is good...
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