Letter 9 of 19

2019,

I got gaze at the wonder of the sunrise from my home village. This must be one of our most intimate moments.

I was merely watching through my window but it felt like I was at a premier of nature showing off. The sunrise view from the east side of my house is breathtaking. Before you judge, I did tell you that I got into interesting situations because of "weird" quirks back in the day. There's a list but waking up in the am's to watch the sunrise, staying out to stare into the sunset and star gazing always baffled my family. Yes, I'll accept the black Xhosa families stereotypes at this stage.

My mother couldn't stand that my motivation to get up wasn't to clean her house or to engage in some hard labour that she had to force me do. The sunsets she didn't mind as such. Just as long as the windows were closed and the lights switched on. As for the star gazing, I think she and my father low key suspected that I was applying to join a local Hogwarts branch. I went through a lot to sustain my "what kind of a child does this?" habits. It was worth it.

Before the sun rises it stands behind the mountain waiting to make a grand entrance. Everything seems so still then. Well, everything except for the rooster crows and the chorus of birds chirping. It is as if nature is putting on opening acts. The sun doesn't just appear. It slowly reveals itself behind the mountain as if it's flirting with expectant eyes. Today it was partially cloudy. I love days like this because they add a special element. They bring with them rays of sunlight which permeate through the clouds to create art. Oh what a sight!

I'm wasn't fully present because I was anticipating an interruption. A part of me was waiting for someone to come by and ask me what I'm doing looking outside a window.

I did get interrupted. It wasn't by anyone I had suspected. My usual suspects where nowhere in sight. It was an old man herding cows down the road. I stood dead still. I didn't want to move. I was hoping that he doesn't see me there. Why? One of those bazothini abantu fears. What will this man think of a household were people stare outside windows so early in the day. Crazy right?

Not entirely. Something else hit me at this moment and it felt like a punch to my stomach. There a so many times during your timeline 2019, when I've allowed external factors to cripple me or make me stand still. There are times when I cared about who will think whatever, say whatever or even do whatever. This was especially during times when you had my back against the wall and I felt suffocated.

Fortunately I was able to bring my attention back to the sun rise. It had crept out from behind the mountains now and hidden between the clouds. Creating even more amazing colours. The roosters were still crowing and the birds were chirping louder.

I should learn to block out the noise. I should learn to escape my bazothini abantu indoctrination. I should listen to the birds. I should watch the sunrise more often. I should learn that even on cloudy days the universe has magic to share.

Thank you 2019 for this lesson...