Remember all the times when I was tired?
There’s a popular video of EFF leader, Julius Malema, in South Africa which gets used a lot on social media. In the video, Malema is heard saying that “…they are just in it for it. They are tired shame. They don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. They left everything in God’s hands”. I don’t think I remember who he was referring to but, I have been “them” so many times this year.
What can I compare this phenomenon to? One of my favourite things to do growing up was getting inside a jumping castle. I loved the idea of bouncing up and down. There were a few glitches to this. I lost balance when there were many of us inside. I would be jumping only to fall because someone had just jumped and I would bounce off. Or, I would have just touched down with my feet to catch my breath and someone would knock me off while making their “big” jump. I would either fall and bounce or just allow stand there and wait for balance. I fell a lot but I enjoyed jumping castles and trampolines. I still do lol.
When I pass jumping castles these days, every now and then, I watch this phenomenon unfold and reminisce on my days when I would be defeated lol. I laugh at my younger self and I always wonder if the child going through the very same thing has any idea of what life is teaching them. Through this, 2018, I’ve learnt that one will not always have balance. Even when they are doing the things they love the most.
2018, I welcomed you with Proverbs 3. Little did I know back then that I wouldn’t need to lean on my own understanding. No. Your challenges were of a different brew. Malema is right. I left everything in God’s hands.
My relationship with God has sustained me so much this year.
A song by Khaya Mthethwa and Oasis Worship, Mkhulumsebenzi, which captures this very well. There were so many times this year when I was so caught up in completing chapters, meeting deadlines, preparing for classes and so on that I wasn’t aware that God is sustaining me. His grace, love and mercy had been doing something greater than that. They had been providing the wind beneath my wings and they were allowing me to be.
This isn’t a lesson unique to you, 2018. I am marvelled by God year in and year out. What makes you stand out is that I think I’ve been on autopilot for the longest time ever during your days. I can’t believe that I’m on day 364. Yhu!
Today, I’m thinking about all those nights when I went to bed wishing I had a magic wand. You know why? Because I woke up to live the reality that grace is renewed every morning. There were days too when I woke up with the joy I had the previous evening. When the bounce of joy in my heart remained untouched.
Another interesting aspect which I got to encounter this year is the concept of Isaiah 60:22. 2018, we live in a world of social media which also sometimes sells us the illusion that our dreams will come at the same time as burger orders at our favourite fast food joints. We look into the gardens of our friends, with perfect likes, and think that the grass is greener on the other side. We break at the face of adversity, become impatient and forget that our paths are different. I hope that nobody looks at my life and thinks “perfect”.
2018, to date, there has been no year which has schooled me about timing the way that you did. Thank you…
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