You’ve taught me how to embrace discernment.
Shortly after we met, as I mentioned in a previous letter, I chose Proverbs 3 as my anchor scripture to see me through you. A couple of verses there, 21 – 23, touch on how one should not lose sight of discernment and common sense. It even goes on to say how this combination will keep you safe on the way and your feet won’t stumble.
I grew up watching those martial arts themed movies. No, I didn’t play karate with the boys. I never even harboured any ambitions of learning but, I still watched. Probably because it was one of the few times when my mother didn’t fuss over the age restriction. Karate Kid was a favourite. I don’t really memorise movie lines but, hands up for those who still remember “Teach me, Mr Miyagi”. If discernment was karate then you, 2018 my friend, were my Mr Miyagi.
2017 introduced me to the concept of discernment but you’ve courted me to embrace it. Last year I had those meltdowns when I saw people’s colours. This led me to cut some ties and be completely unapologetic about it. I didn’t say true colours on purpose and I’ll explain why in a bit. Discernment for me, this year, has gone beyond the superficial norm. So, discernment wasn’t only about being vigilant and cautious with the people around me. It was also about being mindful of who I am and the role I play in their lives.
Not everyone is going to be happy for you. Some of your accomplishments may even isolate certain people from you. People will smile to your face and talk trash about you. Some people will constantly ask about your well-being just to measure you up. That is life. It happens to all of us. Knowing this doesn’t hurt any less though. What discernment taught me, fortunately, is the ability to see through the masks.
Embracing discernment is another process. One which makes you realise that people’s true colours are relative. A taker, to you, is probably a giver elsewhere. A disloyal or dishonest person probably learnt to communicate in that manner. People are broken out there. We are all just casualties of each other's inner wars. Heck, I've even embraced the idea that in someone's story I'm the villain. So this year, 2018, you have taught me to turn the other direction just when my discernment alarms go off. I no longer try to find a room in these toxic spaces. I accepted apologies I will never receive. I moved on without the association or friendship. I did this because I realised that I couldn't stumble on my own path of finding peace while I remained in rooms which suffocated it. Regardless of who else was in the room.
The other side of the discernment coin this year, however, was a heart-warming experience.
I got to see people for who they really were – caring, loving, supportive and so hilarious. There were times this year when I felt like you were too much and they were there on this journey. Wiped tears off my face. Laughed off my crappy moments with me. Reminded me of who I was. We broke bread, stuffed ourselves with waffles and yes, I was forced to finish meals lol. I received genuine love. Let us not mention the number of times when they lifted up my name in prayer and lent me their wise counsel. To my tribe, thank you. For being the cactus plants in my safari desert, for your endless support and for understanding that, once in a while, we all need to be islands.
2018, you have taught me how to embrace discernment and because of this each and every touch down felt sweeter. I should mention those in one of these letters…
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