You’ve been a journey.
I’ve always liked exploring, seeing new things and new people. Side note: back then I couldn’t even spell budget or bank balance lol. So, it was nicer. One of my favourite things to do was to see the animals on the way. That and watching the sunset. The colours are BEAUTIFUL!
We have a tradition of praying before each and every trip as a family. Silent prayers or group prayers. Travelling mercies isn’t something we take lightly. On the way, we nibble on padkos, marvel at the sight and depending on the trip, talk through what the game plan is. The beginning of the year for me also symbolises the start of a journey.
I don’t know who else does this but, one of the things I like doing when travelling is checking how much further it is until I reach the destination. How many kilometres left? How many more stations? How many hours till I reach there? And what I miss, unfortunately, during this time is the opportunity to be present during the journey.
This year, 2018, you’ve stopped me right in my tracks and forced me to be present in my own journey of life. I didn’t always get it right. I missed so many moments and these reflections are helping me to just take it all in.
I’ve begun so many interesting journeys this year. Personal ones, work-related ones and spiritual ones. One of them includes having the opportunity to lecture at one of the institutions of higher learning in my country. What a gig! One of the most exciting, and challenging, things I’ve ever done. I’ve always had a neck for teaching and sharing knowledge. My mother even believed I’d take pick a teaching degree when I enrolled for the university. Believe it or not, it took forever for this to sink into my system. Not when I bumped into them outside of class and they called me “Miss Fekisi”, not when there were people around us and I rushed to greet first to avoid them calling me “mam” and definitely not when I heard “I got a distinction for your module” followed by an expression I can’t even begin to describe. I still don’t think it has sunk in. I was too busy checking how far I had to go, how many kilometres I had left...
Yes, 2018. Rub it in. This was completely on me and not on you.
So today I am taking it in. My first time in front of a large class, the first exam scripts I’ve had to mark and just everything else in between. The bonds I’ve made with some students and the inside jokes in certain classes. Having welcoming students and condescending ones. Seeing them get out of their shells as the semester progressed. What a ride! What a ride!
During each journey I’ve been on, I’ve experienced turbulences, stop and go’s due to construction on the road and even buses not arriving on time. I’ve missed a few flights, trains, buses too. There were times, especially the first few times, when my eyes watered up really easily. I’ve now learnt to embrace the uncertainties. This is easier said and done when one is travelling. When it comes to real life scenarios, however, that’s another song.
There are countless times this year when I’ve had conversations with people who didn’t understand the choices of my journey. While others sigh subtly, others would openly criticise and move on as if they had just done me a favour. This audacity used to bother me. It’s actually even made me reluctant to even talk about what it is that I actually do. May we reclaim the power we give others over our lives back. May we ignore them the same way we do the GPS lady when she tells you to “turn left”
2018, thank you for taking me places. Thank you, above all else, for bringing me back to me. Thank you for bringing me back home…
No comments:
Post a Comment