Letter 13 - 22 of 22: Flowers

 Good evening 2022, 

Yes. I did what I just did. You can’t blame me. So little time, so much to say. I guess I won’t get the opportunity to get to it all but, I’d like to hand out a few flowers before we wrap up day 365 of 356…

I haven’t always been a fan of this giving flowers business. A nolali (village girl) will always carry a bit of that and the sinus business isn’t a joke. Things have changed a bit in the last decade or so though. I’m not saying I’m a huge fan. Just that I’ve grown to appreciate the gesture. I’d like to give out a few flowers before I bid your timeline goodbye 2022. 

I’d like to give flowers to my smile and laughter suppliers . The ones who crack me up, who lessen the load of sadness and the ones who make me realise that giggles are a need.

I’d like to give flowers to my keepers. The ones who call out my b.s, who are anecdotes to the Impostor Syndrome and ones who cross my mind every time I think of going rogue. I appreciate your honourable orders. 

I’d like to give flowers to my “you don’t thank a fish for swimming” crew. My pack. If you were spices, you’d be my six gun. I don’t need much when I’m around you - your love and loyalty seems to always know how to cater to my being. I value you. 

I’d like to give flowers to my cheerleaders. Thank you for believing in me even on days when I don’t. Thank you for being kind. Thank you for being a stong presence on my journey. 

I’d also like to give flowers to the people who have been instrumental in my growth - in all spheres of my life. 

Last, but not least, I’d like to spare a bouquet for myself. Yes, I’d like to thank me. Uncle Snoop taught me well and I ain’t going back. I’d like to thank myself for going on, for smiling, for not letting go of kindness even when it’s mistaken for foolishness…for pursuing peace relentlessly and for fighting to be me…

A rose for you too 2022. Thank you for the gift of life and for her lessons…

Grateful regards, 

Linda 

Letter 12 of 22: My Stan list

Hello 2022, 

Are you well this morning?

It’s that time of the year when I give flowers where they’re due. This top 10 used to be for music only. Not this year. It seems like we've been tweaking tradition so, why stop now?  I’d just like to have a potjie of creatives who I stan and explain why…

Let's begin with the songs. For some odd reason, I wasn't following much this year. These ones, however, did the things with the pots for me.

K.O - Sete ft. Young Stunna, Blxckie

What's there not to like about this song? Like it, love it, absolutely obsessed with it! Enjoy the lyrics, the melodies, and just how beautiful love songs can be. 

Senior Oat - All in you ft. Kemy Chienda

This song took me to church and groove! I've danced to it with my best moves. Yes, the ones we can all agree that I have. I have included it as part of my praise and worship. I also remember humming to it during one of my most favourable moments of this year. Truly a work of art. 

John Legend - Nervous (Mthandazo Gatya verse)

I have all the love and respect for John but, this tribute goes out to Mthandazo and what he did to that open verse. Yhoooo. What he did can't be undone. I had goosies listening it. Wow! What a talent. It was extra special to watch him get the opportunity to perform with John. I've always admired the glow of Mthandazo's star. May it continue to rise. 

Luxury SA - Crazy Vibez

Heyi! There's always that one song each year that brings out the "yaaaas" in you. 2022, this has been that song for me! This is that song whose name you don't know. The song you hear and can't even tell people about it. The song which comes on and cheers you up. Definitely worth a stan! 

This song actually brings me to a new category on my stan list. TikTokers! So, I joined TikTok this year (@lindafekisi). Not as active but, I'm enjoying those streets. The creativity is off the hook, content is hilarious and informative at the same time. I'm liking it there and I can't help but not stan these creatives. Disclaimer: There are so many others, I just had to stick to 3. 

@Nathanmolefe - First of all, thiza Bontjies! I have no words for you lol. I like Nathan's creativity, how he rocks his dance moves and his hilarious content. My favourite video to date is the "keo rekele dikuku" one. Basically becase it sums up how I felt about Crazy Vibez. 

@Ndile_Thandile - This account brings out the nerd in me a bit. Enjoy the creative content and how it incorporates intercultural elements. I see a lot of people using content here as part of their academic material. Continue doing your thing Bafo.

@Smokeymirror_- Heyi. iNtombi! The girl who does the things. My fighter. What a creative creator. I crack up every time I come across his content. I’m a bit worried about the viyolence bo mogirl like to display but, absolutely love the storylines. 

My last three spots on the stan list go to movies and telenovelas/ dramas and series. 

The Wife

Firstly, now I know the difference between “based on” and “inspired by”. Took a few seasons and being in a toxic relationship with Showmax but, I can safely say that I’ve made the distinction. I may have a few things to critique but, nothing compares to the heat brought by the cast of this drama. They. Are. Talent. Personified. Hats off and a standing ovation to each of them from bringing life to their characters and giving us a place called home…

The Women King 

Again, much can be said about the politics surrounding historical context inspiring this movie. I’m not there. Where I am is just how it was amazing to watch it. I was hooked from the beginning right up until the end. The cast is so talented. I’m tempted to mention names, I’ll resist that urge. It was just amazing to see the entire production come together. Hats off…

How to ruin Christmas

Let’s bend tradition once more.

I haven’t seen the latest but, I’m going into it clapping and giving it popcorn from the trailer. Saw the return of some of my favourites and I can’t wait. Dear Busi, you will be missed…

Letter 11 of 22: Embracing mgowo season

 Hello 2022, 

How do you do? 

I’m not quite sure how I feel about our conversation. It’s both one of the best and yet frustrating conversations since I began this journey of end year epistolaries. Much like so many moments on your timeline. 

I may have said this on here before but, nothing prepares you for the grey area like adulting. Jonga (look) here we get glimpses of black and white. The rest…different shades of grey. 

One of the main things about the letter epistolaries has been: a reflective letter each day. Tough to crack but I had been doing well these past few years. When 2022 came,  I thought that I’d manage to keep this tradition but I haven’t. It’s been frustrating. I won’t lie. I’ve come to realise, however, it’s not all bad…

Earlier this year I reflected on pouring from empty cups. This December feels like my proof of residence is there. Having only enough for your own cup with little to spare. Life is just forcing me to pause and focus on my present…and to embrace it fully and wholeheartedly.

Naturally, this has affected a couple of my relationships with others. I’m not usually MIA, in hibernation for long periods or even AWOL for that matter. Mgowo is teaching me that this season doesn’t change who I am. It’s probably carving a better version of me. I may wrestle with guilt from time to time but that’s normal.

I will pitch…when I pitch…in whichever way I pitch…and I’ll still be awesome. Can the church say Amen? 

Letter 10 of 22: Die Here is my Herder

Merry Christmas 2022, 

How are you on your last Sunday? Today I’ve decided to dedicate a reflection to my spiritual theme for your timeline: Psalm 23. 

Before I go any further, let me just make a disclaimer: I am not one of the 44. I’m saying this just in case that person’s fans come for me. I’m just someone who learnt the hymn in Afrikaans and who, once in a while, needs to hum it to navigate this Psalm. 

For some odd reason, I can’t remember how I got to pick this theme this morning. I remember it was another verse initially and I changed it. I guess I thought I’d need it and I was right. 

Psalm 23 has been such a comfort on your timeline 2023. Especially when I was walking through the valley of the shadow of deadlines, setbacks, losing faith in the dream and Imposter syndrome. It brought me back to myself…

My favourite verse is definitely the last. My favourite memoir is titled after it. It has defined one of my most memorable inspirational moments. It is also such a comforting reminder that what God has promised you will find its way to you. I am a living testimony of this on your timeline 2022. 

I pray that God’s goodness and mercy continues to hunt and locate me in 2023…

Letter 9 of 22: One two buckle my shoe

 What's good 2022?!

Prior to the letters, I thought I had you all figured out. Much like the nursery rhyme that is the title of this post. My dear friend, you were the "seven, eight, lay them straight" line. I say were because it seems like you've taken a curve and are trying to become like your predecessors...

Last year, I wrote about how I was in stitches when certain lyrics were butchered. This year, I realise that I am also on the very same boat. In my mind, it has been "three, four, knock on the door" instead of "three, four, shut the door". Shut the door? Shut the door where? Which door? Why is google messing up with my childhood? Am I the only one who knocked on the door? I can't believe my life had been a lie. lol. 

This reminds me of my current position with you 2022. We were coming along so well. Why now, jiki jiki (all of a sudden), deciding to act up on your girl? 

On a serious note, I'm currently reflecting, or rather confronting, the spirit of feeling like I am entitled to all good seasons throughout. I'm nursing my ego with the "seasons are different" mogirl ointment. I'm trying to drink water, mind my business and just appreciate life as it comes. 

So I guess what I'm trying to convince myself is that two yucky weeks, with glimpses of awesomeness in between, can't get in the way of the good thing we had? Right? 

This would be an interesting perspective to adopt for long term...

Letter 8 of 22: Reconciliationville

Good morning 2022,

Let's head up to Reconciliationville today. This trip usually occurs on 16 December, which is a public holiday known as Reconciliation Day in South Africa, but this year we took another young shot left on the day.

Have you ever been on a trip that ended up not being the trip you thought it would be? It happens, right? Trust me, I know. I've learnt a thing or two about these on the 2022 timeline. Point is, destinations are not necessarily what you thought they would be. One of the prominent lessons I learnt this year about the healing journey is that the destination is not necessarily making peace with others. I'm not saying that isn't an important aspect of Reconciliation. No. I just mean that I discovered that, maybe for me, the destination of my healing journey is finding inner peace within myself. 

This year, I focused less on what was happening around me - conflict, disagreements, miscommunication, cutting ties, betrayals etc and more on what was happening inside of me during those times - anger, frustration, annoyance and surprisingly, relief. Yes, not all conflict is bad. Some is very good for future references. Knowing were to avoid potholes. Life is like the state of the roads in South Africa - your emotional state, like the mode of transport you're using, needs to be roadworthy to carry you on rundown paths. 

When things fell apart this year, I just kept adjusting the route on the emotional GPS to locate Peace. I'll be honest, at times I hit the "your destination is on the right" when there was absolutely nothing there. At other times I got the "turn left" when left really was not an option. I guess maybe because I was done repeating certain emotional patterns which were not healthy for the sake of "peace". Then, once in a while, I was met with the occasional "you have arrived at your destination" and my, oh, my it was glorious. Being At Peace is one of the most breathtaking destinations to be. 

There were times too, when I had to meditate on the "Your people, Lord" prayer like I would the rosary. Kodwa (but) that is not an area I like to visit at Reconciliationville. Like Bruno, we don't talk about people here. 

2022,  Thank you for cleansing me of unrealistic and suffocating routes to inner peace. I'm grateful for the lesson that reconciliation begins with me... 

Letter 7 of 22: Nku e llile

 Dear 2022, 

Your entire timeline has been a watershed moment for this family, both literally and

figuratively. It is certainly due to the former that we could grasp and appreciate the latter.

As a family we had just come out of our “teething phase” experienced in the early months of your

predecessor. Having three young ones in this family we “knew” that it would be smooth sailing for a

while, barring the extreme unexpected moments. Guess what you did, you were like: “here are

some terrible twos with an extra serving of unexpected in the extreme.”

So, what was a man to do? What was the proverbial sheep to do? Nku e llile on your timeline and

the sky did not fall. At the time it did not seem so, in that moment the sky was falling, the tunnel was

closing in and thus the light at the end was having an Eskom moment.

If you are a proud man/woman, husband/wife and father/mother who knows only to “support” and

not how to “lean on”, this moment becomes unbearable. That excruciating but liberating pain of

letting go and learning to lean on the ones meant to lean on you became our watershed moment.

The moment when you can trust your young children with mature content that says your parent is not all that strong.

So, morning came and the sky was in place and it was stage 0 and the light was flickering but was

there. So, you have opened our eyes to the fact that Nku e ka lla and that the sky will still be there.

Nku e ka lla and we will still be a family. Nku e ka lla and we’ll still respect each other.

In conclusion 2022, you have taught us that we need to learn to “lean on” as much as we support

those that are nearest and dearest to us.

Khotso!

Litloholo tsa Bataung ba Ramokhele!

Letter 6 of 22: My encounter with grief and loss

Dear 2022,

You've taught me something about losing a loved one. 

You'll never understand grief from a distance. One can only imagine it until it strikes in your circle. 

2022 robbed people's lives tragically and horrifying ways: rape cases, suicides, accidents, murders, etc. Yes, all these have occurred before, but deaths of young people in 2022 escalated and it is was so unfair.

It is heartbreaking to see parents bury their own children. Unfortunately we will never have sufficient answers for them. One can never get used to death, and 2022 happened to be the year in which I experienced it in my circle for the very first time. 

I pray and hope for God's peace and comfort on everyone who lost their loved ones: be it a parent, friend, boyfriend, neighbor, acquaintance in 2022. 

People don't have to understand how you feel but I hope you heal overtime; as it is said "it gets better with time".

Kind regards

Mahlogonolo Rankapole

Letter 5 of 22: Enjoy the ride

Dear 2022,

My biggest lesson from you has definitely been to enjoy the ride. There are a couple other lessons...

When we are living in what was once a prayer, we tend to forget to live in such moments simply because as humans we always tend to want more, and for some reasons we always think if we can have more of certain things, then we will be happier. I had to learn that if I don’t appreciate where  I'm at, nothing will guarantee that whatever it is I’m seeking will make me happier. One of the greatest reminders is that “we hurt ourselves because we obsess about the end of our journeys” instead of just enjoying the ride.

Another one of the biggest lessons the year taught me is to live in the moment instead of obsessing over the final destination. Destination addiction is a real thing. It is also one of the biggest thieves of joy. 

If we do not appreciate where we are, at the present moment, that’s an injustice to our journeys because there are pretty good reasons why we are where we are currently. If I am not content with what I have and where I'm at, while working on getting to where I want to be, chances are when I finally get to that particular place I will still be empty, unhappy and unfulfilled...

There is beauty in living in the moment. Take everything in: the lessons, the challenges, the disappointments, the happiness, because they shape the people that we are becoming. How boring would life be if we figured it out? The beauty of becoming lies in enjoying the ride.

Lastly, while on this journey called life, always remember “Your value is not attached to what you accomplish” . And the beauty of being a prayerful and a grateful person is that it always puts you at ease knowing that you will always end up where you are meant to be. 

Do not put pressure on yourself, just enjoy the ride.

Kind regards,

Dakalo Muthelo

Letter 4 of 22: A line or two for 2022

 Dear 2022,

I'm not an individual of many words but, here's a poem dedicated to your timeline.

The embrace of your  thoughts

Are as sweet as the thorny

Sound of silence that lingers

Through the cold knights

Peaceable are the tears

That rise and chase away loneliness

How I long for that war ridden night

To chase away the commotion of day

As the light blinds the tears

I get a vivid picture of bliss

But my mouth hears the ears speak

Of deception within the embrace

Like warm ice running down the spine

I see you for who you are

Shaping and moulding me

To the Oasis that will quench

The thoughts of bliss and serendipity.

Kind regards,

Mzee

A friend of Life and Her Lessons

Letter 3 of 22: Grace showed up

 Dear 2022, 

You have been a year of Grace for me.

It has been both humbling and empowering.

No matter how undeserving I felt, I have been loved this year in a way I cannot comprehend.

I have seen God, experienced God in people, and rediscovered God in me.

I have seen God in His fatherly character through His forgiveness and care towards me. God has been gentle with me and confirmed His promises for me in this lifetime. I saw this mostly on the days when I felt that the choices I made, rendered me deserving of the hardships that I had gone through in the last few years.

I have experienced Him in my friendships, where I truly thought the boat has sailed and I had pushed

them far enough not to imagine still having them. God showed up through people in ways that still

shock me and I can only acknowledge that it is God who led them to love me. Family showing up is one thing but friends can choose to simply walk away and God was like nope, you going to be there for her.

Accepting this kind of love in friendship is in itself humbling and the kind of journey you can only walk

once with a person, in a forever kind of way. So I am grateful for all the people God used to show Himself to me this year.

In rediscovering God, I have learned to love Him again. Forgive Him, because well I had to. My anger for myself was reflected in my relationship with Him. His pursuit of me reminded me to forgive myself and realise that I was not really angry at Him.

Although I am not ready to acknowledge and debrief from the demons I have faced or the mountains I

have had to climb this year, I am glad I did. I will know I am ready when I finally have the energy and the correct mindset to learn and grow from the debriefing. So that I may grasp the true lesson and gain the most out of the reflection of these experiences.

So the perfectly imperfect me is fighting. Some days feel like a win while others don’t, yet I am looking

forward to 2023 and know that in all things…. I am not alone.

I am humbled by Gods love for me and empowered by the community He has created around me, His

grace has truly been sufficient.

Yours truly

Kelebogile Boleu

Letter 2 of 22: The paw paw, the fan and everything else in between

 Iyhooo 2022,

I don’t even know where to begin. The beginning isn’t a viable option. It’s just as messy as the middle and the present. The paw paw hit the fan and everything else in between...

Before I go any further, I’d like to apologise for my absence these past few days. I know some you have not been even able to reach me on my phone. I was kept away by matters beyond my control. When I say beyond, I mean the distance between Cape Town and Cairo, the unexpected heat burn from that hot pan on your hand and the inability for one to kiss their elbow. Yes. It was that deep.

I thought that 2020 had prepared me for things not going according to plan. Listen, I thought I had become an expert and moving from plan A to plan F and then Plan M swiftly. These past few days have taught me that I still have a way to go. It’s not a long way. Neither is it a short way. Days are different. All I know is that I need a route to mastering this…

2022, you’re currently serving me the kuse mhlabeni apha (I’m using this in the context of “this is how the cookie of life crumbles”) card. There’s something so numbing about losing control. It undermines your poor egos attempts at “keeping on top of things”. It puts your patience to the ultimate test. Oh and your humility…shame. Homegirl feels like the scrop lap (cleaning cloth) that’s been doing the rounds at a family mgidi (celebration). In the meantime, the entire system is humming Senzeni na? (what have we done?) in an almost perfect harmony.

I’m going through a yucky phase on your timeline, and it sucks. That’s all I can say. All I can master myself up to say anyway. I will keep the rest inside emotional volts resembling Azkaban where it should remain. God knows I need dementors, all things divine and the Holy spirit to keep them at bay…

As it stands, things are going back on track. Is it a straight one? Jeepers no. Am I hanging on? For dear life.

On the brighter side of things, the next couple of days will be filled with letters from friends of Life and Her Lessons. Do stay tuned!

Letter 1 of 22: The Nile

 Dear 2022,

I hope that this letter finds you well. It serves to kick off the long standing tradition of reflective letters I contribute each year.

A point of order before I begin my reflection. This year, things will be a bit different. I'm only writing a dozen letters to you. The rest will come from the circle of friends who have been walking this journey with me. That being said, I thought I'd kick start today with a trend I picked up on your timeline.

The Nile is a long river in Egypt.

I think I was in primary school when I first heard that phrase. I don't remember the teacher who shared it but, I do recall the point she was driving across. Made perfect sense back in the day. "Deny everything" was a go to in Primary. If you didn't catch my hands in the jar - it wasn't me.

Adulting has, of course, brought about a different dimension of what denial is, what it means and how one navigates those dynamics.

2022, your timeline has been a constant reminder that the Nile is a long river in Egypt. I've lost count of the number of times you dealt me cards that forced me to face things as they were instead of how I wanted them to be. What an uncomfortable position...

This uncomfortable lesson has crept up in a few areas. I guess that biggest one being that there is no escaping the adulting gig. It's the biggest scam and it only gets trickier - unless you stop being in denial. What a difficulty.

Confronting the denial of being an empath has been both exhausting and liberating. Confronting the denial that people are not who they present themselves to be or a dealing with their own denials has been messy. Confronting the denial that adulting comes with growing pains...now that is where the danger is...