Letter 24/24: Exhausted regards

Dear 2024

I hope this final letter finds you well. Yes, I’ve located my manners. I’ve had enough time to voice out my grievances to you. 

Today is definitely the shortest day of your timeline. The 24 hours just isn’t enough homegirl. I can’t feel my feet but, I’m glad we’re bidding you farewell soon. 

Yesterday I saw a furniture shop van. Took my back to childhood. How these would deliver furniture in my neighbourhood and how the same van would come and collect it. I didn’t really understand what was happening as a child but I always associated that with embarrassment. This memory is linked to another one from my childhood. A happier one. One when newspapers used to come with furniture catalogues. As kids, we’d often lay pretend and pick which furniture we preferred. It got interesting when it came to the fridges. We picked ones with the most interesting food. We didn’t care about the features or the reality that they came empty from the shop. 

As you take your final bow, 2024, I attach you to both these memories. I’m praying that Father Time comes to take you and all your low moments like those furniture vans. People hardly helped to pack up but, today, I’m helping the Universe as she collects. I’m too young to cross over with the lows. They have served their purpose and no longer have room in my system. 

The little girl in me can’t help look towards the next year like she used look at those furniture catalogues. I’m picking the fridge filled with hope, strength and anticipation. Gratitude too. 

You were hectic mogirl but for what it’s worth, thank you 2024. Thank you for life and her lessons. 

Exhausted regards,

Linda 

Letter 23/24: Danko

 Hello 2024,

We’re almost at the end of our conversation. Before we wrap up, I’d like to take a moment to appreciate the people who have been with us since we began - the Life and Her Lessons (LAHL) fam. 

Allow me to extend my deepest gratitude to each and every person who follows the blog, who has dropped a comment here or privately and those who are new here. 

Thank you to those who kept me accountable 😂, those who reminded me that the numbers are not numbering and those who have walked with me through these reflections.

I tell people about how awesome you are. You make this time of the year unique. You make a girl feel like she’s filling up FNB Stadium 😌. You will be the reason why your girl bags a Laureate some day 🤞🏽

Danko! Let’s continue well into the new year…

Letter 22/24: Zero

 Hello 2024, 

How are you? How are the kicks of a horse on their way out? 😂 Askies. What if next year is you just 2.0? 🤣

This reflection is dedicated to everyone younger than me. I’m giving free advice. Take it now or wish you had in a few years. 

I discovered so many things when I became an adult. Like how there’s barely any glits or glam. Like how responsibilities are hectic. Like how so many things here you figure out as you go. It’s basically one big “members only” club that you get to figure out once you’re there. 

Growing up, we used to tease adults based on things they were known for. Look here dear youngsters…I am volunteering to be that auntie who is known for what I’m about to share with you here. 

When we tell you adulting is a scam, believe us. It’s not because we’re sitting on top of the pyramid and don’t want people to join. Heyi! 

I honestly rate adulthood with a whooooing zero. There are no off days here and there’s no union rep to plead your case. You will just join multiple support groups. All trying to figure out how to enjoy and accept fatigue in peace. That and a body which can drop you at any time of the month. 

Enjoy your youth. Yidla ubutsha bakho! Enjoy not being the adult in the room. One day you’ll look around and only find your reflection staring back at you. 

It sucks here. Delay catching this flight…

Letter 21/24: This and That

 Good morning 2024, 

It’s a Monday and I don’t care. Want to know why? It feels like a Saturday 🤣

I’ve been meaning to have this reflection for a while but, I’ve been postponing it. Not because I’m conflicted. No. I’ve been postponing it because once it’s out there, I won’t be able to take it back. 

Your timeline has made me more aware of how Adulthood is the place where certain conversations are just on permanent mute. This happens with those situations whereby something can only be “This”. It can only be “This” because it has always been. Everyone “thinks” it should be “This”. It can never be “That”. How dare you even bring up thqt possibility. A lot of things fit into this category but, let me touch on one. 

Being a village girl, I was born into the tradition of “imigidi” (gatherings). They are an integral part of how we do things. Part of our ultimate “This”. Growing up, I never had the vocabulary to describe my discomfort with them. Mainly because they are our “This”. Fast forward to adulting and wow! Homegirl is aware she tends to have social anxiety and this was her ultimate “aha” moment. There’s my “That”.  I’ve expressed my level of discomfort with imigidi in my safe spaces but, I would never dare to bring it up with the actual powers that be. When my uncles found out about one of my allergies they asked my dad if I had missed a ritual or anything due to me as a Xhosa child. Yeep 🤣

This and That can coexist. Right? 

So, yeah. There it is. Hi, my name is Linda. I’m a Xhosa hun who isn’t a fan of imigidi. I could list my reasons but, today I’m only brave enough to say this out loud…🙆🏾‍♀️

Letter 20/24: The valley

 Blessed Sunday 2024,

How did your last Sunday go? It’s been chilled vibes this side. I’ve embraced fatigue at this point. It’s the new normal…

Let’s go to church. 

I didn’t really have a theme this year. Not sure how this happened but, I was just set at “Lord help me”. A number of scriptures came through for me but one sticks out. Your timeline has made me look at Psalm 23 in a different light. Look, this scripture showed me flames. You’d swear God used this scripture to speak (read reprimand) to me. I won’t have the strength to go all of them. Let me touch on the few. 

First of all, you were valley that verse 4 refers to. Yes. Homegirl you were something else. You had me questioning what they mean when they say “even though I walk”. Walk? Who walks through that valley? I crawled myself through there on your timeline. On days when I wasn’t just sitting still, I just crawled to move ahead. My knees are a few shades darker! 

Secondly, I had a bone to pick with verse 1. My biggest want of the year was not to be on that strong persons list. It was a  desperate need and an even more desperate want. My prayer is for whoever is in charge of this list to remove me for next year. I am just a girl shame.

My last reflection point is on gratitude. I heard the back story of why shepherds pour oil on sheep - as a means of protection. Heyi, the Lord is my Shepherd! He literally greased these locks with oil and made me slippery. Call Neo and Trinity right now - I’ve dodged way more bullets. You’ve made me the one, 2024 🙏🏽

Letter 19/24: An open letter to grief

 Hello 2024, 

How’s your last Saturday going? Today’s reflection letter is self explanatory. It’s sort of become a tradition for the past few years.  This year can’t just go by without me honouring this tradition. 

2024, you were one of those reminders that death only occurs once but grief is a recurring cycle. I wish I’d say your timeline was kinder towards me in this regard. I can’t. 

Ja , Grief. You’re such an unwanted guest. You rock up unannounced. You OVERSTAY your welcome. You make the host feel so uncomfortable they even wonder if they forgot that they even invited you. 

You find Grief staring at you when a chipped cup sinks your heart and warms it at the same time. Memories of how it came to be come flooding by. You’re sad it’s not being used for its intended purpose. You’re grateful it even had one in the first place. The weirdest thing is how you hide your teary eyes because you’d be embarrassed to admit the real reason you just want to hide away and cry. 

Grief mocks you during your lowest moments. You can’t access the wisdom that was once so available to you. You can’t pick that brain. You can’t confide in that soul. You just repeat their words of comfort over and over again. 

Don’t quote me on this but, sometimes grief is comforting. There are certain foods which always feel like home. They take you back to a time when you couldn’t imagine the world you currently live in now. Each nibble takes you back there. Content doesn’t even begin to describe this feeling. 

I don’t like you Grief. I won’t ever like you, Grief. That would require me to “know you better” and we both know you’re better off as a stranger…

Letter 18/24: Psalm 118:24

Khotso 2024, 

How are you? I know we haven’t been keeping in touch but, we had to talk today. Today’s reflection is another dedication which HAD to be today. If you know, you know. If you don’t…read the scripture 🤣

Sis. Today is THE day. Today is YOUR day. Mogirl, this day is so special and ordained. Look, I’m sure there will be many more others like today but, TODAY is one of those days which are aligned with your vocation. 

I’ve met God through you. You are one of the people He just decided to show himself in my life through. It’s funny that, now that I think about it, both our names sort of personalise the relationship we have. It has taught me patience during hardships and has constantly reminded me to be glad and rejoice in the wins. Blessed be the day we met! 

Today I’m taken back to our crazy and light days. When we made jokes about “the future”. When we put in those requests to God and cracked up at the possibility of Him hearing us or not. Turns out that He was listening all along ne? 

I’m not there today but, I’m getting live updates. You look like a dream 😍. I hope that you’re not worrying. I hope you’re taking it ALL in. I hope you’re making the most of your special day. May God continue to bless you 🙏🏽

Ha re Ithabeleng. Re nyakaleng (let us be glad and rejoice)… 

Letter 17/24: Today you return a man

 Halala 2024!

Today is no ordinary day on your timeline. You return home as a man. This is one of our sacred and longstanding traditions as amaXhosa. I dedicate this reflection to you. 

You’ve made me an official adult in the circle of life thing. I have vague memories of this tradition from my own childhood. I remember calling into radio to greet my elder cousin who was in “America”. Memories of when my own brother went are clearer than that. The visits to the mountain with food, when he returned and that awful thing they used to do by serving all the kids in one dish. Yuck! 

There have been many more others. These just have distinct memories - the return, the ululating, the singing…the chants. Today, I became the women I used to watch in awe. The song that was sung as you entered the kraal has a history of its own in our family. I sang along. I remember my grandmother singing along in a circle looking quite emotional. I understand a portion of her tears when the warmth of my own rolled warmed my cheeks. Today I overheard her younger sister tell my mom it took her to her childhood. It was your great- great grandfather’s favourite. One day, we’ll have a lengthy conversation about this. 

The chants and clan names escaped my lips. I was ululating. I swang my doek around  too. All the while praying for you.

Today you return a man! We are so thankful to God for the gift of your life. As you take up your position, may your values and morals take centre stage. May this new phase of your life be filled with continued responsibility, a fresh perspective of accountability and truckloads of awesome experiences you have never even dreamt of. 

Halala! 

Letter 16/24: Tick Tock Tick Tock

Hey 2024,

 

What’s good? 

 

Yesterday was just one of those days when I felt like I needed to constantly remind myself which day of the week it was. I needed to remind myself which date it was. I need to give in to next year being close and yet far away. 

The reflective emotions? Jumping jacks. Jonga, I was everywhere and nowhere. Much like when you’ve navigated confidently to a place you’ve never been and the voice keeps saying “turn right”. When you look at right, it’s not make sure. Then you look left, just in case, and it’s even worser. So you say a few kind words, breathe in and out and start again. That was me yesterday. 

When this whole GPS thing kicks in your first concern is survival. I guess yesterday was for all the days like that on your timeline, 2024. 

Days when your best isn’t visibly “wow”. When your best is about making it to a certain time of the day, out of a busy intersection or just managing to show up regardless of the jumping jacks. 

We give so much credit to the days like that. This year has made me appreciate them. Not how much they suck. No. Just how much they ground and remind you that…they too, are part of life…. 

Letter 15/24: Cactus Plants

Hello 2024, 

I hope you’re well. Today’s letter is another reflection dedication. I find myself wanting to say the same thing to a couple of people. Writing different letters wouldn’t make sense but, this same one will have different meanings to each of them. 

You know how I’m a village girl? I was exposed to plants at a very young age. Cactus plants were never appealing to me. I didn’t really like your typical plants though. Before you judge, I was more of an aloe girl. This wasn’t voluntary though 🤣. Someone thought smearing the juice on my fingers would make me stop sucking them. Epic fail.  Backfired so badly that, that’s one of my favourite tastes of all time. 

Adulting has taught me to appreciate the traits of Cactus plants. If I were to compare our bond to anything, it would be them. We hardly talk but when we do, it’s lit. I never feel the need to explain my absence. I never have to strip myself and list reasons why I’ve been MIA or hiding. I also don’t have to compete with those who have been present while I missed out on memories. This makes it so easy for me to fill you in on my mgowo lows and private highs. I guess I proved myself once to you and you were sold. Thank goodness! 

If I were to ever need a witness to prove I’m an introvert at heart who is willing to talk once you know them - I’d call you. Look, you know because you were the extrovert who saw me and adopted me 🤣

You know this year has been one of my lowest and yet, you’ve treated me like we’ve just met and we talk every other day. Thank you for sharing your answered prayers with me, thank you for the calls that make me feel like I’m on top of the world…thank you for the tea. 

Next year, we should be intentional about keeping in touch 🫂… 

Letter 14/24: The colour Purple

 Dear 2024, 

I hope that you’re well. I was tired yesterday.  Still tired today. I’m starting to sound like a broken record about this. I know. It’s just that it’s also fatigue season 🙆🏾‍♀️. Today’s reflection is a letter to purple.

I can pinpoint exactly to when I knew how to get purple - Arts and Culture. What a class! Let’s just say I was a rebellious teenager who didn’t get it. A part of adult me still doesn’t but, I won’t get into it. I just remember being let in on the concept of purple by my people and immediately getting it 😂. I recall being grateful for the knowledge I hadn’t appreciated back in the day. The point, 2024, is that this knowledge is part of the silver lining and part of the “why”.

2024, Purple is always a constant reminder of my why. Purple knows me. Purple has seen different shades of me. Purple has set the friendship bar high. Purple wishes my favourite colour wasn’t my favourite colour 🤣. If I were kidnapped, I’d probably send signals to Purple and they would get it. 

Blue holds your hand and sits with you. Red is a constant who never lets you walk alone. Purple comes with so much awesomeness that you’d swear it carries the rainbow on its shoulders. Blessed to know you, thankful for those laughs and missed punchlines but, above all…grateful for each moment we’ve shared in 2024. 

Here’s to infinity and beyond…

Letter 13/24: 12 Things I didn’t like about you

It’s FriYay 2024, 

I’m feeling exhausted but good. It’s one of my favourite days of the week and I’m feeling a bit petty. Pretty good time to vent about how much of a thorn you’ve been. Today’s reflection continues from yesterday’s.

12 Things I didn’t like about you 

1. You - I gave you your flowers yesterday but, Homegirl you were messy! 
2. That 4:0 loss to Mamelodi Sundowns was painful. 
3. Winter - it was too long. 
4. This one may compromise my street cred but, my knowledge of players from this other club surpass my own. Look, it’s alarming how I know who is who from a quick glance of those line ups 🙈
5. Fatigue - I’d explain this in detail but, fatigue 🤣
6. The Ls I caught from adulting 🙆🏾‍♀️🤣
7. All Mondays - except ones where I didn’t have to adult 
8. Guys, what if the big bad wolf from Little Red Riding Hood is Capitalism? Capitalism keeps winning guys. 
9. Imposter Syndrome and her goons 
10. Am I the only South African who feels like every month needs a public holiday?
11. The unwanted visits by Death…
12. 2024 but in yellow? Jokes 🤣 This is one of those years when those long distance relationships were felt! 

You have a few days to go to redeem yourself…