Letter 17/20

 Hybo 2020, 

I attend the family meeting this evening. 

Our president, Cyril Ramaphosa, just addressed the nation regarding the Covid-19 lockdown status. 

My mind wandered and drifted during his address. 

Honestly believe that there are times when I feel like I don't even understand English. 

Maybe it's my system adjusting. 

We're going back to Level 3 with adjustments. 

Alcohol has been banned...again.

Today has been a lot. 

Mixed emotions. 

Heavy heart.

Only thing I can tell you, 2020, is that uyiFilm.

 You. 

Are. 

A. 

Movie! 

Letter 6/20

 Dear 2020

There's a meme that I've once seen where someone was saying that we shouldn't forget to give credit after hating. So 2020, even if you've been the crapiest, you've dished out some wins shame. 

One of my favourite wins was being featured in the inaugural compilation titled “Women’s Words: Experiences and Realities”. The project, put together by The African Dialogue, collected voices from women across Africa. It was such an exciting project. Bylines don't just come by these days. I'm no longer working as a journalist and it's been a dry season there by academia. When you get the time, send prayers family. Those streets are rough!

I didn't know about the organisation at all. I was plugged by someone. It wasn't the first time that the someone in particular plugged me. I met him at a conference before joining university. He plugged me to join a student association. I did. Even went on to become a national executive member. He was amongst the tribe supporting me. After alerting me that I've made publication he told me how he knew I was perfect for it. Then it dawned on me: "I am because you" isn't some lame proverb that our people hold dear. It gives life to so many things.

2020, even in the midst of your crappy experiences you've brought amazing moments. You've reminded me to value the importance of supporting others and walking their journeys with them. You've made me aware that showing up when days are grey makes the rainbows of celebration look brighter. You've made me grateful for my tribe which remains in my corner even on days when I don't feel like showing up. You've reminded me just how much I am because they are. Camagu!

Read my piece and lots more amazing others from the compilation here.

Letter 5/20

 Dear 2020,

It's Reconciliation day in South Africa. This public holiday holds so many contradictions in my country. I prefer to stay away from politics of it all and do my own thing. I started a personal tradition when I began the reflective letters back in 2018. On this day, I decided to head to Reconciliationville.

There's always a section in town or part of a neighbourhood that you avoid. I know I still avoid areas where I'll be subjected to call calls or crowds or unnecessary drama. Reconciliationville is filled with those. Today I'd like to reflect on some of those "no go" zones that you've taken me to 2020. 

So I'm not very big on confrontation. Emotional drama drains me and makes me so uncomfortable that I avoid it. My empath radar helps with this most times. Not this year. I've gotten into so many tiffs and disagreements this year on the personal front. Each incident unique. I guess most of them had been building up for years and it was just time for the explosions. It poured.

Reflecting on each case has been interesting. I'm seeing that I'm not as patient as I thought. I appreciate the honesty of the engagements. I'm chilled with the apologies that won't come or weren't authentic. I've got traumas of my own that still need more work. Some conflicts were necessary for me to leave comfort zones. There were times when my ego needed more nursing than my need for peace.

I guess I've got two highlights from all the dramas. Firstly, there are African adults who know how to say that they are sorry. They don't disregard your views based on when you were born and they validate your differences. Bless them. I can only speak for Africa when I say that they are a rare species. Secondly, we need to put less focus on who was wrong and who was right after conflicts and focus more on sharing perspectives. There are so many peaceful revelations that come from that.

I've also learnt to accept that there are things I'll never reconcile with - the triggers of death and just other things that stay bottled up in my chest.

I hope I form part of a generation that apologises to those younger. I hope I let go of the linear notion of villains and heroes. I hope that I realise that the greatest reconciliation is the one I make with my inner self. 2020, I will forever be grateful for this lesson...