Cheers to the wish

 Dear Guardian, 

Today marks a decade since I received the news of your passing. I tend to remember a lot of details about that time during this month. Some vividly clear. Some blurry. It’s funny how this month holds some of my fondest memories of you too. I guess nature always finds a balance. A vivid memory is how the my brain kept listing all the “things” you won’t be around for. 

You haven’t been around for 10 years and that list has been at the centre of my tango with grief. I’ve put together a list of things I’d like to share with you. 

1. When Maroon 5 released Memories, you’re one of the people who came to mind. I know you liked them. Only made the lyrics deal with me even more. Today my emotions are set at “Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not…” 
2. This may not be news to you but Conclave begins tomorrow. Imagine that. I wonder what you’d have to say about it. You gifted me with a unique perspective of God. I still carry it with me. 
3. You were right about milk tart. I can’t believe I used to low key judge you. I’ve come to enjoy it. It brings back memories of you…
4. I understand now why unity was important to you. I wish we would have listened to you better. Adulting came and dealt with us. 
5. Kaizer Chiefs isn’t doing well. I know you’d still be “Khosi for life” ✌🏾🤣. We lost to pirates this past week. We’re facing them again this weekend and I’m just not looking forward to it. Watching the derby with you was EVERYTHING. 
6. I’m living in my vocation. Seeing you walk in yours inspired me in so many ways. 
7. You’re gone but not forgotten. 
8. Project i-can’t-mention is in motion. I wish you’d given me a clearer heads up instead of the casual “you’ll see when you get there”. I didn’t even imagine I would. 
9. I see now why you bet on us. We’re all grown and doing amazing things. I think you’d be proud. 
10. Naturally, the circle is bigger. You’d be entertained by the new characters. They’re definitely going to know about you and your teachings. The one about saints won’t be a bad place to start, would it? Or maybe I should settle for the concept of laughing at Will? Yeah, that sounds about right 😂

I’ve felt robbed by death since I heard you were gone and I still do. No amount of maturity will curb that.

I hate to admit it though, but through mourning your absence life has taught me to appreciate our paths crossing. On good days, I take walks with Gratitude and find comfort. I hope today is one of them. 

Continue to rest… 

Lent 2025 - what a wow!

 Hello fam! 

Are you familiar with the walk of shame people take when they’re late for mass? That “yes, I know. Pretend I’m invisible. Don’t look at me. Focus on Fr” or the “Do these shoes really have to make these sounds this very minute?” walk? I feel like I always have to do an intro of shame each time I come back here after not posting in forever. We’re five months into this year and I haven’t been on here. Happy new year folks 😂🙈

I once brazenly came here and called Lent 2020 the “Lentiest” of them all. I was wrong. Forgive my young(er) self. She did not know better. She was speaking from a place with limited information. Listen guys, the Lenten seasons have once again gathered before the mirror of faith and 2025 has come out tops. 

Guys, I don’t know about you but this past Lent was just lit. It was so lit. I caught so much smoke. At some point I even started to wonder if God remembered that I was asthmatic. Like, whoooaaaah. Holy Spirit, are you sure you have the right address? Should I not perhaps resend. I was even prepared to resend proof of address that had been certified within the last three months. 

Lent 2025 took me to rough sections of this ghetto that is adulting. At this point you may think I’m being dramatic but, I’m not guys. We all know that going into Lent isn’t like going on holiday and we prepare ourselves for some level of ngowo. Mind you, I said some. Not the entire scene to be set at eloi eloi lama sabachthani. 

I learnt lessons that I wish I couldn’t have. Not because I didn’t need to but because maybe your homegirl isn’t strong enough. Or maybe I just wasn’t ready. As simple as that. On the positive, I guess it’s never a miss if you get to meet other parts of yourself. Even if they go against the very idea of who you thought you were all these years. 

I must say though that I take my hat off to Hope. Homegirl made me feel like a clown but, she held me down. If anything, this Lent renewed my contract with her…it sucked but I had Hope. I have Hope. I’m pretty sure Hope will be waiting for me tomorrow morning cheering me on to carry on.

I hope that your Lent was blessed. I hope that you still believe in the prayers you had during the fast. I hope that your faith was renewed. I hope that Hope comes through for you like she does for me…