Showing posts with label Birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthday. Show all posts

Wednesday, 11 August 2021

Snakes and Ladders

 Haaaibo...Good morning! 

Yes, you should have read that exactly in that viral Tik Tok that's keeping us entertained on this side of the world 🤣.

I started a tradition with Thinking out loud. Top 7 followed suit last year. Snakes and Ladders is me sticking to a good thing. If you've read these pieces, you'll probably guess my age accurately. If you haven't, I suggest you do yourself a favour and read them before you go any further. Really? Yes. Trust me. It will be worth your while.



Today is the one before the big one fam. Today marks the beginning of the last lap before venturing deeper into Adulthoodville. Today is one of those moments which I would normally overlook. Much like those views I only notice after years because my focus has been elsewhere. I guess because of that, I'd like to reflect on things I feel like I've overlooked this past decade. 

As you know, these birthday posts are conversations I have with who I used to be, who I am and who I dream of becoming. 

Dear Linda, 

For you, Hope comes in the morning. Hope continues to show up on days when joy feels like a foreign concept. Hope has taught you that joy isn't the absence of trials, obstacles and missed deadlines. Hope comes in the morning and it holds the space when a lot of things don't make sense. Appreciate this more.

Don't forget that the commitment to praise God comes right before the declaration of how you are fearfully and wonderfully made. There are so many answers that come from praise. Honour this commitment. 

It isn't really that friends are few when days are dark. Friends are few, because they too are in the dark. Friends are keeping to themselves because their own loads are a little bit more heavier than they can carry. You can only hope that they know they can count on you to carry it with them. You hope, even more, that they forgive you on days when you can't show up for them. Don't lose sight of this. 

Be fair to father time. He does wait for man. He waits for women equally too. Yeep, he's not the discriminating type. Jonga, that guy is very inclusive to all of us. Let me make my point before I get sidetracked by all things patriarchy. Time does wait for us. We just always tend to think that we have more time. Now that's where it gets tricky. So make the most of each season you enter baby girl. Soak in the warmth of each joke, heart to heart and aha moment that you receive when you exchange energy with people. Why? Those tend to keep you warm when cycles come to an end. Accept this.

They mean well when they say that "Dynamites come in small packages" while encouraging you. You just don't see yourself as small anymore. I'm not saying that Imposter Syndrome doesn't show you flames from time to time. It does. You're just content with your size and it isn't small. Dynamites come in all packages. Even packages which still look for deals in the kids clothing section. Remember this.

As you enter into this chapter, chin up and tell that "things to do before" list that life is just like Snakes and Ladders. There are parts of you that are still haunted by those snakes which swallowed you and dragged you back. There are parts of you that are so grateful for the ladders that pulled you up when you least expected it. At the end of the day, you've never appreciated the gift of life as much as you do now. Forgive yourself for not being where you thought you were supposed to be. Trust the process of who you are becoming. Be unapologetic about this. 

Happy birthday to you kiddo! 

Wednesday, 26 August 2020

Conversations with friends - Receiving Flowers

I celebrated my birthday two weeks ago. Yes, I celebrated it. I decided that I'll put all things "adulting sucks" and Covid-19 realities aside for one day and just bask in gratitude and joy. 





There really aren't enough words to describe how awesome my day was. I received so much love and I'm grateful. What I can say, though, is how heart warming it is to receive flowers while I can still smell them. This post is an appreciation of everyone who made my day extra special.





May we stop to smell the flowers. May we laugh as hard as we cry. May we welcome the warmth of joy unapologetically because we know the chill of sorrow. May we find the balance...

S/O to Meerster RGM for the background track Appreciation feat. Bimenhle, Simba & Virgo. You can listen to the full song here.

Tuesday, 11 August 2020

Top 7

 It has come. The time has come fam. The time has come when I have to take a few breaths before answering the "how old are you?" question. I promise you I literally have those moments of silence when I remember that I'm not 25 anymore. Mind you, in my mind 21 still feels as if it was just yesterday. Where has the time gone?! 


Growing up, we used to play a game called Top 7. It was in Sesotho and we'd normally open a circle and chant "Top, top, top sevene" while clapping our hands. This was before one could share their relationship status on Facebook or upload #loveliveshere Instagram photos. Top 7 was a way of people knowing your business. It came in different variations where you had to answer seven "top" questions. I don't think I've ever been in a game which got to seven though. Nothing much but giggles usually came after "ujola le mang wama Top 7?" (loosely translated to who, in the Top 7, are you dating). I'm sure somewhere out there other people had another version and it made more sense. It didn't really make sense to me back then but it added colour to my childhood and that's all that mattered.



Today, as I begin a chapter I'd like to have my own version of a Top 7. I think I began a birthday tradition with Thinking Out Loud. This piece is me keeping it. Top 7 is another love letter to different versions of myself. I think there's nothing that says "I'm embracing the late twenties" like compiling a list of lies I believed, things I wish I knew and my hopes at being a better human being. I use song titles to package the messages.

1. Age ain't nothing but a number
People in their late twenties are NOT old. This must be one of the biggest lies that you believed. Unlearn this myth. People in their late twenties are very YOUNG at heart. Trust me.

2. Hakuna Matata
Girl, I'm looking at the coast and it seems like the height wish won't come true. It's okay. There's no problem with being a vertically advantaged person. You'll adjust seats and stand on "something". Let's keep the hope alive for the weight gain wish. I'm hopeful.

3. Don't stop believin'
Hope is that guest who came and decided to permanently move into your heart. Make more room. Don't stop believin' in things that add colour to this world.

4. Thathi sgubu
Make the most of the time you have with people. Time is so precious and limited. Live in the present. Try to express love and gratitude more. Create memories.

5. Ubomi abumanga
Older people aren't saints. Some older people will own up to this. Some won't. Some aren't even aware their toxic traits are hurtful. Some apologies will never come. Try not to give this area of your life too much energy. Move on.

6. When days are dark
Adulting sucks at times. I can't believe there was a time when I was looking forward to this trap. I wish I had read the fine print. Yhu!

7. Rather be
Your current chapter is interesting. You're treating self-love as a verb and you're healing from generational traumas. There's no other place I rather you be.

There's another game we used to play back in the day that used to fascinate me. It was in isiZulu. Don't really know the official name but, to us it was "isikipa ska". We'd open a circle (yes, we loved these lol) around someone and we'd chant: "is'kipa ska X es'balw' u7 siyang'caza ×2. Wang' bamb' amahlombe, wang' bamb' amafigure, wang' bamb amahips" (I like X's t-shirt that has 7 written on it ×2. X touches my shoulders, X touces my waist, X touches my hips). This used to be the ultimate hype game. We'd crack up so much. X would go around the circle and pick the next person by standing in front of them. Then they would touch each other's shoulders, waist and hips in sequence to the beat.

Today, it's like the universe represents X and it picks me from the circle after making a few rounds. She looks at me straight in the eye and tells me: "is'kipa ska Linda es'balw' u7 siyang'caza.

Happy birthday kiddo. Grab twenty-something by the shoulders, waist and hips...

#LifeAndHerLessons (LAHL) Fam