Time out

It's been a while. I know. So before I proceed, please consider this as my act of contrition. Forgive me, dear reader...

Just so you know, and in my defence, the hiatus wasn't planned. I put off posting to take care of a crisis or I rescheduled meetings to record conversations because of time clashes. In other times my thoughts were too heavy to translate into words and I couldn't write. This cycle happened repeatedly and before I knew it I was officially hibernating and taking time out. 

I don't know what, or who, to compare my 2020 experience to. 2020 is like that girl who gives you a broad smile and draws you closer for a warm embrace only to place a dagger on your back. This year makes you feel like the "boogeyman under your bed" stories were true. I saw a meme where someone said it feels like we're living in the times of Jonah and someone needs to own up and be thrown out of the boat to be swallowed by the whale. I couldn't agree more! Lol

On a serious note, a lot has been happening fam and lockdown has added its own spin to things. This year is not at all what I thought it would be when it began. I've had the scariest and weirdest experiences. I've been adapting to amazing, and life-changing, experiences. I've been learning to let go of toxic traits. I've also just been deeply overwhelmed by the effects of Covid-19 on lives. Being an empath, who doesn't really know how to handle it, isn't the best of things to be during these times. I needed to take time out.

Being in hibernation has shown that we aren't programmed to have conversations about pain in our social circles. This isn't a new discovery though. I've always known this but, I just never knew the depth. I'm also not saying that we live in a society which is ignorant and not supportive. No. I'm just saying that I realised how we still deal with trauma, anxiety and depression as if they are myths. We walk around with identities carved by wounds for years and we're not even aware of it.

I must admit though, taking time out has forced me to be actively kind to myself by focusing on my mental and spiritual health. I've been practicing mindfulness meditation and attending a weekly homecell (prayer group) with friends. No, I don't have a TikTok account yet. Funny enough, I haven't even baked since lockdown began. I'm also so unfit I think a kilometre jog would feel like a marathon. I'll work on that when lockdown ends. In the meantime, I'm making the most of what life is offering and living each day seeking gratitude while praying for others to survive this storm.

I appreciate those of you who reached out to check if I was fine.

I hope that you're all keeping safe. I hope that you're holding on to hope and joy. I hope that you have spaces which allow you to breathe and express your pain. If you don't, seek them and be unapologetic about your journey. I hope that you're being kind others and even kinder to yourself...