If you're a regular here, you'll know that I'm based in South Africa. A warm welcome to you if you're new or reading from another side of the world. Our government decided to place a 21 day national lockdown as one of the measures to fight Covid-19. During the lockdown our president announced that there would be a two week extension. When this happened I didn't change my phone calendar. I think I forgot to. So on the last day of the initial lockdown the "Lockdown ends" alarm went off. And yes, I'm not mentioning the actual dates because a lot feels gibberish at the moment. I tend to keep away from numbers when that happens lol. So on the last day of the initial lockdown I put this together:
Yesterday was one of those "oh well!" days.
Tomorrow is going to be another one of those "supposed to be" days.
Today, like many days lately, has been one of those "ipehe hantle motase" days...
I think those three sentences come close to describing a portion of how I feel about everything that's going on. I say portion because I just get overwhelmed, and heart broken, when I think about Covid-19 and it's impact on lives. I'll keep those heavy thoughts to myself for now.
I don't know how other people are experiencing lockdown but time is so fluid and strange. It feels like it's moving the one minute, then it feels like it's completely still and then before I know it I notice how the uncertainty of what's to come just continues to pile up. I make the most of the opportunities to meditate, read and have reflections to keep calm from it all. At times though, the silence feels like that one time I landed in detention back in high school - unwanted torture.
Lockdown is bringing out the best and worst in me I tell you. It comes with liberating freedoms and uncomfortable truths.
When it all began I couldn't wait for it to end. I had this long list of "things I need to do" and "places I need to be". Most things on that list were driven by denial I tell you. I've also been tempted to hop onto the "first things I'll do" or "food I'll eat" after lockdown" train at some point. Are you laughing at me or crying with me at this point? 😩😂
The silver lining during every meditation is the opportunity I get to connect with myself. I've made a promise to myself that on each day I'll find something to be grateful for and that I'll be kind to myself by letting go of the illusion of "normal". I'm learning to embrace and enjoy the fact that 2020 is redefining a lot of things in my life. I'm learning that silence and stillness offer so so much. Remember that I have "breathe" as one of my themes for the year? I don't remember being this loyal to a theme.
I don't know how everyone else is experiencing lockdown on spiritual and emotional levels. I can only imagine how challenging it is. I do hope that we all get to do it on our own terms and paces. I hope we let go of other people's projections. I hope that we get to nurture self love.
Oh, and the voice over guy from that soapie I mentioned earlier was right. I'm never looking at hourglasses the same after this lockdown...
Linds you are not alone, lockdown is bringing the worse and best in all of us. But I know we will pull through��
ReplyDeleteI'm not alone at all Taky. One of the reasons why I'm so grateful is that I still have a circle of you guys who keep reminding me of this.
DeleteI'm really looking forward to this being a thing of the past. In the meantime though, I think we to learn the leasons...
Wowwww... This is the first time I am visiting your blog and I must say, your writing is impeccable...
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Thank you so much for your kind words.
DeleteI hope that you will visit and read other posts often :)