Letter 4/24: Rest

 Hey 2024,

You good? Today let’s talk about the foreign concept of resting. 

It’s that time of the year when the system refuses to switch on fully. Autopilot isn’t autopiloting. Fatigue is as its peak and your whole being is just hoping that December gets to be December. Or December lite rather. Because the adulting package comes with responsibility at all times. You’re so tired you wish you could go back to childhood and play even harder - because that wasn’t tired. That was fun to be continued. 

Adulting gives tired a whole new look. It’s a constant state of being. This time of the year, however, almost makes it feel like oxygen. Like, what is the end of the year without fatigue? What do you mean you’re not tired? Weren’t you busy being “productive” during the year? Are you one of those “at least there is a glass” type of people? 

Today is one of those days when the lessons you’re trying to avoid sneak up on you. The ones that don’t make you look cute at all. Absolutely nothing demure about them either. Ones that you absolutely need…

Matthew 11:28 came knocking by my door today. It wasn’t alone. It carried the gift of an epiphany. One which left me with a deep longing for rest. Not the kind where your mind is still buzzing with open tabs. Not the kind which makes you wish your feet could shrink back to their normal shape and size. Not the kind when you can’t even tell 6 from 9. The kind which surpasses human understanding…

Letter 3/24: Kodwa

 Hi 2024, 

It’s Tuesday. I’m deciding to choose peace for our reflection today. You’ve been tough 2024 but, you had your moments. Let’s call these moments the kodwa (but) moments. 

Kodwa moments are a tricky space. You want to acknowledge what you can about a situation. You’re adamant that your views are final and then the but sneaks up on you. Kodwa moments are like being served the last piece of chicken - which happens to be your least favourite portion but, you can’t be unhappy…because at least you have meat. Kodwa moments can be compared to being squashed in a taxi. You feel pressed but relieved that you don’t have to deal with the maths that comes with that front seat. Kodwa moments are like finally reaching your weight goals and suddenly realising you need new clothes. And no, they’re nothing like “grey areas”. Kodwa areas come with more complexities and emotional rollercoasters. 

You’ve been my kodwa year 2024. Today I just want to acknowledge that and sit in that acknowledgment. Saying that you’ve been tough doesn’t mean that I’m saying you were all bad. I just can’t get myself to not acknowledge that it wasn’t an easy ride. There were times when I got off track and even wondered if the track was even the track…

You’re reaching me that acknowledging my struggles is not the absence of gratitude…

Letter 2/24: Siyajabula

 Hello 2024, 

It’s Monday. My least favourite day of the week. My beef with this day extends far beyond your timeline. I must say that you didn’t do much to remedy this. 

This year, I’ll be adding two features as part of our conversation. One of them is letters I’ll be writing to friends based on lessons they’ve taught me. While these will be public, their privacy will be respected. And Yes, I couldn’t face you alone. Made plans for back up immediately when you made that “after school is after school” threat to me. 

Sis wam, where do I begin?! 

Let’s start here, it’s Monday. Another day in the “struggle”. 2024 has me by the washing and has me ducking and diving. Jonga, the wrestle is on. You know the drill - mind all the puns. 

I’m busy trying to catch my breath and then Naima Kay’s song hit me - lelilanga! Today is no typical Monday. Today is YOUR day! I do not have the vocabulary to describe the joy it brought. Whaaaaaaaat?! 

A particular memory from my childhood pops up when I reflect on how our timelines got to link. I remember how we used to be fascinated by seeing teenagers or young adults passing by and looking good. After discussing the fascination amongst ourselves, the bravest of us would be brave enough to say: sisi, umhle! (You look good, sister). Now this usually had two main reactions. One where the person in question would ignore us and walk straight on. Another would be a blush accompanied by a “thank you”. Now the latter would leave you hoping if you’d also be like that one day. Let’s not talk about the former 🤣

You happen to fall into the category of the latter but, with a twist. An IT girl who is available for those who come after her to walk with her. I am always in awe at how you are able to do this - your humility and being available. Being available to share parts of your journey. Being available to share wisdoms learnt. Being available for deep and meaningful conversations. 

Thank you for sharing parts of your journey. It is such a privilege to have you as umhlali (resident) in our village. Congratulations on your milestone!

As Bongi Maffin have said, namhlanje siyajabula! 

Letter 1/24: Iyhooo

2024, 

I hope this finds you. 

Usually that sentence is accompanied by well wishes and manners. I’m not quite sure what to say to you. How does one address a villain? Homegirl, if you weren’t the Thanos of years, I’d probably have nice adjectives. You were. So, I’m just hoping this finds you…

Welcome to a longstanding tradition of reflective epistolaries which mark the end of the year. I must confess, things were so hectic on your timeline that I almost broke this tradition. I mean, how do you say “it was hectic” in 24 different ways? I know I don’t have the enough English to do that. Luckily for you, fate decided otherwise. 

You’ve served painful lessons, 2024. They came in different shapes and sizes. Lessons I can openly talk about, lessons I can laugh at to lessons which shook my being to the core. You may be the reason why I one day need a slightly bigger grave space…because I’m definitely taking some lessons you served with me there! 

You’ve been the iyhoooo to my Solomon, a dictator to my system and just crippling. I don’t know who put up my name on the strong persons list on your timeline but, I pray they forget the correct spelling next year. I hope they forget it even the year after. Infinity wouldn’t even be enough. Iyhooo! 

I look forward to wrapping up your final days…