Proof of life

 Sanibonani nonke!

It's been a minute. Hasn't it? Forgive me. At least I've been consistent with the monthly posts though right? 20:22 on the 22 of each month has been a constant despite my hide and seek moments.

You know how those Facebook memories have a way of making you feel nostalgic? I recently saw a photo of mine from a formal event 10 years ago. Let me spare you the curiosity - I haven't changed much. At first glance one wouldn't even notice how much time has flown by. The only evidence I have are my locks - they were much shorter back then. Short and still thin. Bless this hair. It comes through all the time. And yes, mind all the puns 😂

It didn't take long for my cheesy self to add Masterpiece by Jessie J as a soundtrack to the nostalgia. It fit so well. Befitting- as they would say lol. I feel like I looked at that version of myself and all I had to tell her was that I'm still a work in progress. I still can't colour inside the lines. I basically had to tell baby girl that I haven't arrived at the destination we had planned back then. To be honest with her, Adulthood has reset that GPS location so many times...I believe them when they sat "it's a journey". As khumbaya as that may sound...

October has been so lit. This Queen came with the pressure of "yho, it's so late. Let me just give in and try again next year" vs the spirit of "ha a nono, there's still time. Push". I've always thought that end year fatigue was the peri peri of periods. This October has made it feel like lemon and herb. What is end year fatigue? Have you met October 2022? What a difficulty!

I hope that you'll join me in reflecting on how far you've come, forgiving yourself for feeling stagnant at times (or maybe all the time) and just taking a moment to speak life to the flame of Hope that remains undefeated...

Andikho right!

 I've been subjected to so many hours of loadshedding today that I don't have it in me to share how much. Loadshedding + power outage + Loadshedding + a whole lot of bs I can't get into right now.

To say that this isn't the post I was expecting to put up would be an understatement. I've tried to channel my inner khumbaya but I've come short. On a scale of one to Stage 10...I'm rolling in the dark.

I normally refrain from commenting on social matters in this country because I don't want to turn this space into a political venting outlet. Today I'm keeping quiet because I have nothing kind to share. Yer!

My cup is running low. I can't even see the cup...

I hope that all is well with you. I hope that love and light (yes, mind the pun) finds you and keeps you warm (yes, mind this pun too. It's the least I can offer)...

Then and Now

Hello fam,

Or should I say hello from the other side? Yes, that sounds about right.

Have you noticed how they package those before and after advertisements? How the before is dull and gloomy. Then after looks brighter. You're so caught up in the "wow" moment that you ignore the suspicious little birdie in your head. Turning a new age is much like this.

Firstly, thank you for being part of the countdown. All the celebrations were lit. Thank you for the well wishes. There was something more special about this year. Something that made me low key wish I'd turn this age again next year. Maybe now I understand why people remain 21 with x years of experience.

To be honest, this new year doesn't feel much different from the previous. I haven't marinated much into it but, still. Feels same old.  I've noticed a few changes. Minor ones. Nothing major but, almost everything is still the same. It may be too soon to tell but, just is.

I don't know about you guys but I'm at that "balls in the air" phase of the year. I've dodged enough blows, trying to stay in tune and I'm just holding my breath for the last quarter. I'm refusing to fully adult this month. I'm officially in denial of all those realities. August is a sacred month and it will remain so. We will try again in September.

In the meantime we hold on precious memories. We celebrate all wins, no matter how small, and we remain at peace that sometimes there isn't much difference between then and now...

To me

 It's that time of the year folks. Yi befday yam!

In the early chapters of my life this day wasn't complete without a cake, blowing out candles and festivities. Then somewhere along the line I just wished I could go somewhere on this day and just hide. In the most recent chapters, I've began a tradition of these birthday reflections and the countdowns leading up to them. This post continues that sacred tradition.

As you know, these reflections are conversations I have with who I was, who I am and who I'm working on being. Let's unlock Chapter 30...

Dear Linda,

To who you were
I'm so grateful to you for being such a dreamer. You did what you could with what you had.
No, 30 isn't old at all baby girl.
You have no idea what trauma, toxic or healing mean but someday you'll understand and that will change a lot.
Starting those dreadlocks was a good idea!
If I could, I'd tell you you take it a bit easy - it all works out...even when it doesn't....

To who you are
How and when did we get here?! I look at the mirror and I almost can't recognise you...you so grown! (Even though you still look 18)

Ereng weight gain in our lifetime? You will go down as the legend who appropriated weight. Different is okay.
This world definitely needs a little bit of crazy - don't stop contributing your fair share.
I'm proud of how you always move...(no, your dance moves are not implied lol)


To who  you will become
Homegirl, I'm hoping that you're health bunny.
I hope that you haven't lost our smile.
Never forget how far you've come.
Never lose your sense of wonder...

Happy birthday!  🥂