Letter 21 - Kind regards

 Dear 2021,

I hope this last letter finds you well.

We have reached the "so what Linda?" stage of our conversation. I'm no stranger to this stage. I actually always look forward to it when I listen to people deliver their speeches. In the end, I'm almost always left with how I felt. They were right, people hold on to how they felt instead of what was said.

On your last day, I'm reflecting on how you made me feel. I'm actually zooming into why I felt that way, how I feel today and what I'd like to feel as I step off your timeline.

Firstly, you served me truths I wasn't ready for. You've opened my eyes to perspectives I wouldn't have been exposed to had I remained in my comfort zone. You've toughened me up...

Secondly, you've made me realise that at the end of the day a grateful heart is all that matters. I'd pick grateful over bitter any day. I'm grateful for my village, the rough patches and all the touch downs.

Lastly, you've made me aware that healing is messy but very necessary, that self love wasn't built in one day and that Hope will always be an ally.

The beautiful thing about each last day is how quickly it goes by. So I probably won't notice you slip away 2021 and that's a good thing. I've said enough over the past few days. I'll hold my peace for what's left unspoken between us.

Oh and one more thing, 2021, you've made me value life and her lessons. I'll forever be grateful. Thank you.

Kind regards

Linda  

Letter 20 - Top 10 playlist

 What's good 2021? 

It's that time of the year. The race for the song of the year is on, the social calendars are packed and people are just in celebratory mode. Today's letter continues one of the long standing traditions on the blog. The playlist pays homage to songs that made the year more colourful.

I looooovvvveeee music. You've seen how I use it as a reference in my writing.  Love listening, love butchering lyrics and I love dancing to songs even more. The latter may not have many witnesses. I'm not bad shame. I think. For street cred reasons, however, wouldn't ask my family and friends to vouch for me. 

Music plays such an essential role on the healing journey. It's such an amazing companion. So many relationships I have with people are anchored on songs that remind me of them. 2021, I'm thankful that this is one of the things your timeline hasn't wrecked. It remains an anchor.

Putting this playlist together was a bit tricky. It's been such a big year for Amapiano. The genre deserves a standing ovation of it's own. Wow! If I wasn't careful, it was going to end up being a Yanos hit list. So, I ended up taking the "balance" route and while making my selection. 

Without further ado, get out your dancing shoes and let's have a party! Here is my top 10 playlist for 2021.

1. Nobody - Malome Vector
   This song just makes me so nostalgic. Never mind that I almost mistook the music video location for one of the villages back home. Nobody takes me back to #FeesMustFall - the lighter side of things. It's beautiful to see representations of black love. 
   
   
2. Mukutsuri - Brenden Praise ft. Mpho.Wav
   I liked this song even before I knew what it meant. Still don't know the full meaning. Still butcher the lyrics but, ok'salayo! Something about the way it moved me. Really enjoy jamming to this song. 
   
   
3. Ghanama - Makhadzi ft. Prince Benza
   Heyi! 
   
   
4. Siyathandana - Cassper Nyovest ft. Abidoza & Boohle
   Is there anyone who doesn't like this song? All the combos are communicating here. I've had it on replay so much. Low key reminded me of my self love journey and how home girl has "too much sauce". 
   
   
5. Dream about you - Lloyiso
   Yhoooo. Lloyiso is so talented guyzini. This song is a dream on its own. Yes, pun intended and everything. It has such an old school feel, a soulful touch, and a futuristic element to it. Yeah no, this one is a winner. 
   
   
6. Fire In The Ghetto - Kwesta ft. Troublle 
   Kwesta is a gift that keeps on giving. I've told my friends that his work moves me so much that I think one could write an entire thesis unpacking his genius. This is me putting it out to the universe. This song is proper heat - or whatever is said on the streets these days. 
   
   
7. Adiwele - Young Stunna ft. Kabza De Small
   This one holds quite a few memories on the 2021 timeline. I guess it's a sound track to my stomach in moments. Ndifostile ke kulonyaka (I've forced my way this year). Here's to all those moments when I entered like an elephant...
   
   
8. Asibe Happy - Kabza De Small & DJ Maphorisa ft. Ami Faku
   What a jam! It felt different each and every time I listened. I could go on the whole day about how it has touched and moved me. For the sake of this playlist, however, I'm reflecting on how I got to unlearn what I thought happiness was, redefine what happiness is and accept that these definitions will transition just as the seasons do...
   
   
9. Impilo yase Sandton - Kwenyama Brothers & Mpura ft. Abidoza & Thabiso Lavish
   Ishuuuuuuu. My ultimate fighter this one. I've played this song so much that, if they could, they would have asked me for water. What a song! What a masterpiece! The lyrics! This song just encapsulates my relationship with Hope. 
   
   
10. Osama - Zakes Bantwini & Kasango 
    I've been wondering how I would describe how this song makes me feel for a while now. Then a video of a little girl singing went viral. See how she is? That's exactly how I feel. This song is magic. It moves you. Yer! What Zakes and Kasango did here can never be undone. Ngeke. Hands down, without a doubt, my song of the year. Guys, this is my crossover song...oh hoo hoooooo

A standing ovation for all teams that put these killer jams together. Your work has made the 2021 load a lot lighter. Thank you for the music...

Letter 19 - After robot

 Good morning 2021,

Two more sleeps and you'll be gone. Yay. Nay. I don't know. I'm glad we're at the end. I'm just not looking forward to the next cycle. Will it be 2020 in a Peruvian wig this time? That 2020 too meme doing the rounds isn't helping either.

I was watching one of those old school movies some time ago and I noticed something. So vele vele (really) in other parts of the world a taxi is occupied by one person? Like there's so many of them, looking like a swarm of bees, just for individual rides? I don't get it. Here in South Africa a taxi ride is an entire experience. More like a cardiac exercise especially when you're unfamiliar with the route. Let's put the sitting in front and having to count the change aside. I don't even want to get into the amount of times I've been squashed inbetween other passengers because "ndisis'slenda" (loosely translated to having a small body). Let's talk about when you have to get off and then you have to shout out "after robot". Yhoooo.

Thing is home girl's voice gets squeaky when she's nervous. So having to project isn't my favourite thing to do. Especially when the driver is playing music. I enjoy taxi rides when there is a good Samaritan who helps with the "after robot driver".

Today feels like an after robot day. I'm thinking about all the Ls and times when the robot was red. You were hectic 2021. I can never say it enough. I'm thinking about those amber moments when it was just still and quiet. I'm also taking in all my green moments. I really need to let those soak in for longer..

Letter 18 - Will

 Hello 2021,

My last theme for your timeline was Will. This theme was a combination of "laughing at will" and "where there's a will, there's a way". At least that's what I had in mind. Life decided to put it's own spin to it and I found myself dancing with the will of God over my life.

You know that friend that sometimes takes time to get the joke. Then she ends up laughing at it the longest? I may be that person. Okay, I've been that person once. Okay. Twice. Okay, maybe I've lost count. What matters is that I'm not always that person. Most times I get the joke immediately. Then I just laugh once and I'm done with it. Lol.

I will never forget how I almost missed a "laughing at will" moment. I was so confused. I turned to a friend and asked him, "Buddy, who's Will?". That has been the actual joke since then. The person who was sharing the lesson on "laughing at will" has since passed on. It's almost been seven years but I still can't get used to it. Not when memories of him are so alive. Not when eating his favourite food has become sacred. Especially not when I still feel like calling him when life is so messed up that "laughing at will" seems impossible.

I don't remember how I was taught that "where there's a will, there's a way" perspective. I think it was a combination of teachings from many people. One of them who left to be with those who came before us. I had a moment this year that I wanted to share with her so badly and I couldn't. It hurt a bit but I was happy. I was happy because I knew she would be too. I will never get used to the weight of her absence but the warmth of her love still keeps me warm.

2021, this theme felt like adulting was showing me the highway at some points on your timeline. My take away is how I got to bounce back - reflecting on lessons from those who are no longer with me with a dash of minor adaptations for myself.

Laughing at will doesn't remove the obstacle, it just shifts your perspective. Where there's a will, there's patience, self love and a couple of back up plans...