Asikho lapho

Hello fam!

Asikho lapho is an isiXhosa phrase which can be directly translated to "we're not there". It holds multiple meanings. In popular culture the phrase is used divert a conversation after shots have been fired. Asikho lapho can also have a literal and figurative meaning. I picked it as the title for today's reflection because it holds true to my current reality.

We're halfway into 2022 and the ride is crazy. Crazy, blurry and just hectic. Is it over already? Do I throw in the towel and start again next year? Should I rearrange the goalposts? Why do the themes feel like a trap each year?! I'd go on and on but, asikho lapho.

Am I the only one who is over winter? This winter came way too early and it seems like Homegirl is far from being done with us. I thought my weight gain would be enough. I fell a few kilos short. Better luck next year, right? Another reminder that andikho lapho.

I'm also a few hours shy of being 30 days away from reaching  the 30 years milestone. So firstly, yes, andikho lapho. I'm not there...yet. I'm about to enter one of the most nerve wrecking countdowns of adulthood. I'm not ready guys. I knew it was tickets after 25. Don't get me wrong but, the permanence that comes with this number is just traumatic. It feels like I'm heading towards permanent adulthood - yhuuuu! This post alone won't be able to unpack all the myths and untruths I need to unlearn about turning 30. I'll go easy on myself with that one. I just need to accept that andikho lapho.

Life is teaching me that Asikho lapho season sucks. It has a funny way of undermining progress, baby steps and our ambitions. It feels like when you're waiting to hear "your destination is on the right" after endless round abouts, only for you to hear "turn left" - yerr. It's so deceptive! That and so many other unpleasant adjectives. I'd go on and on but, andikho lapho...