Dear 2025,
I hope this finds you exhausted or distracted to throw any
curveballs.
Homegirl you did me dirty on so many accounts. Your timeline
was filled with drama, shockers and downright lows. Your curveballs have provoked
me to fight, taught me how to fawn for survival, frozen me from their chills
and they have made me flee from parts of myself. It’s funny how the last time I
published something on here I used punctures and wheels falling off as a metaphor.
Trust you to make that a reality.
One of my lowest low moments on your timeline was getting multiple
tire punctures during a single trip while travelling alone. The blow of the
last one being so severe that it almost tipped the car over. That’s not the
story I want to tell though. Not today. The story I want to tell is how your
biggest lesson that day, and this year, has been for me to move…
2025, your timeline has relentlessly reminded me that I tend
to overestimate my importance in certain situations and people’s lives. Now, I’ll
be the first to admit that I’m not a victim of this. I’ve been an enabler and co-conspirator.
Multiple red flags have been waved in my face, and I guess my vanity chose to
ignore them each time. This year I’ve been forcefully removed from that
informal settlement of unrequited love and disregard. The upside to this,
fortunately, has been the revelation of just how spoilt I am by loyalty and
kindness that, possibly out of greed, I unconsciously go in search for them
everywhere. Going forward, I’m hoping to bask more in these connections and
show more appreciation for how they ground me.
I’m still in denial over how I ended up being in a tango
with grief. My system is so overloaded that it can’t face that for long. It is
the hardest when it hits me that I can’t call you for football banter or our
general check-ups. Oh, sisi. I am
relieved that you are no longer in pain though Mamgcina. Ndiyakukhumbula (I
miss you) …
Some of the greatest gifts that God and my ancestors have given
this year have been Hope and Resilience. They have covered me like an armour -
one personalised for my membership with the Dora Milaje because the year I’ve
had has been like a marvel audition. Life this year has taught me to pick hopeful
perspectives over the harsh realities of adulting. It has whispered the gospel
of resilience to me each time I wanted to throw in the towel. It’s been such a
crappy year but, Gratitude has never left the chat. Somebody needs to connect me
to that comrade who does the “soft life” list for 2026. I don’t want to fight;
I just want to have a chat over a smallanyana cold drink (winks).
I’ll be spending the last days on your timeline crossing
fingers that you behave. I’ll be working on pouring into the self-kindness cup
and showing up for a younger version of myself who believed that I could…
Gentle regards,
Linda
